


Dragon Baubles

by delax



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, Headcanon, Humor, Inspired by Moana (2016), Random Crossovers, Sometimes shippy, Steven Universe References, Swearing, sometimes AU, superhero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delax/pseuds/delax
Summary: Dragon Ball Z, small scenes and prompts.Sometimes I attempt to fill the void I feel from lack of romance in the show with some shippy stuff.I throw in the goofs when I can.Also, Dragon Ball was made up as it went along, so occasionally headcanons slip in as I attempt to rationalize wtf is happening with these characters.(Ooooor I just straight-up slip into AU, that works too.)





	1. Fond

**Author's Note:**

> Vegeta doesn't appreciate having a place to live after Namak at all...  
>  **Baka!**

It certainly was an odd feeling, this. A certain level of comfort of staying in one place. Vegeta hadn't stayed on a single planet, much less a single building, for longer than a month. Not one that wasn't a hospital.

Or home.

He shook his head, pissed at even the _thought_ that he wasn't pissed about that thought. He slapped at the control panel to turn up the gravity another 50x. Exertion is always the best way to work off anger, he found, and eventually _all_ his feelings became anger in the end. A perfect system for working with both weaklings and tyrants.

Currently though... He had a roof over his head, plenty of food, and his own gravity room, all free of so called "superiors" or backstabbing subordinates. The owners treated him like the Prince he _is_ , at least as well as Humans can. Almost made him wonder if it's really happening.

Sometimes he had to find Kakarot, just to have someone around that he could hate freely, like a normal person. But even that wasn't right, Kakarot would smile each time he showed up, like Vegeta's father had with his drinking buddies. _Revolting._

The Woman, well she's infuriating on a different level. When he deigns to command her skills, she impudently will ask for a favor in kind or even **Refuse**! Like she was his _equal_! Just because he _technically_ hasn't fixed a microcuboid graviton-emitter while reinforcing the tessellated inertial dampeners to handle a variable load  (She enjoyed telling him in a running monologue, marveling over each thing as if a child could do this!) doesn't mean he _couldn't_.  
He just decided not to after they rebuilt the workshop for _completely unrelated_ reasons!

Admittedly, some of the favors were amusing; like simply standing at the back of a boardroom releasing just a touch of his godlike princely aura to make the committee cede entirely to Her demands like a conquering Queen. Or painting a message on the walls of a competitor a warning to never talk about Her in any way besides respect (not with real blood, unfortunately). _That_ was hilarious.

Sometimes he'd watch her and think...

Nopenopenope. No thinking. Get angry. More push-ups. More gravity.


	2. Dive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Android 18 is _super_ excited about her first World Martial Arts Tournament.

“So look, I’m not actually interested in doing this competition.”

“Who are you?! How did you get in here?”

“I know I shouldn’t have given into doing this dick waving ‘competition’, but when he gave me those puppy dog eyes…”

“Dick Waving?!”

“Though I’ll admit that prize money sounds nice, but honestly this whole thing sounds like a hassle.”

“I warn you lady, if you’re planning to rob me, I am the **World Champion Martial Artist and I** —”

The ki-blast from 18 went several rooms into the mansion, and a whiff of singed eyebrow rose from Satan.

“I will give you whatever you want, please don’t _hurt_ me.”

“Don’t worry, I just want a trade. In our fight tomorrow, I can trade you a win for some phat swag.”

“Fat?”

“Money. I mean lots of money.”


	3. Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Left to watch the house, Goku has the grand idea to cook for Chichi before she gets back and convinces Piccolo to help.

"Alright Goku, it says add 2 cups of flour, stir, then cook."

"Right." Goku looked around the kitchen, searching with eagle-eyed precision, until with lightning speed he snatched up his prey: a wine glass and a beer mug. "These 2 cups?"

Piccolo shrugged, "Probably. It doesn't say _what_ kind of cup, so it can't be _that_ important."

Goku smiled as he scooped flour into each cup and dumped them into the batter, "Boy, I'm glad you're here to help me with these cookies! I was going to work off memory before you showed up!" He gleefully took off a rotor from the electric mixer and began to stir the primordial sludge that would evolve into cookies.  
_♡Love Cookies!♡_  
Only the most delicious kind for Chichi!

Piccolo looked back down at the recipe he had found, "Turn the oven to 180°C. Put blobs of batter on a pan. Cook for 20 mins."

“20 Minutes?! But Chichi will be here in 10!” Goku flailed frantically, panicking until, “Wait! I have a _cunning_ plan~”

**~~~Later~~~**

“—and that’s when I turned Super Sayian!”

“Honestly, dad”, Gohan looked up from the golden glowing cookies, “I was more wondering what happened to the wall…”


	4. Two of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satan City, a place beset on all sides by some unknown evil.  
> One that can summon the darkness inside the residents, bringing to life great and terrible powers.  
> Only one hero stands in the way, and Videl won't let herself fail!  
> ....  
> Until this new guy showed up...  
> But he's super lame and doesn't brood enough for a superhero.

“Look, I’m pretty sure that Satan City _doesn’t_ need two superheros.”

“But you saw what that crazed DJ did! He could have held either one of us back with no effort at all, but when he had you and I got him from behind—”

“Fine I get it, but seriously, time powers are bullshit anyway.”

“I think it had something to do with record scratching, we don’t listen to much music at home, but I believe the time manipulation present in modern music often heard in ‘discotheques’ was being somehow written to reality.”

“...And that all means... what exactly?”

Saiyaman shrugged. His turban was stupid.

“Look, Saiyaman, all we need to do is to punch the bad guys really really really hard. Then they stop being bad. That’s how it works.”

“I mean I don’t technically _punch_ them—”

“Or whatever those light balls are.”

“Ki, life energy that surrounds and flows through all—”

“I get it. I get it. Energy powers.” Videl waved her hand to stop his explanation, her knuckle dusters glinted in the sunlight. “I kinda assume you’re not going to stop doing this little ‘crime-fighting’ hobby of yours.”

“Nope! I suppose we have the same hobby, as it turns out.”

“Ex _cuse_ you? _I_ am an Ally of Justice, **The Justiteer**! And it is my _sworn_ duty to protect the good people in this city from the ravages of the criminal underbelly. To bring light where there is darkness. To go wherever the innocent weep!”

“Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were a professional, it was an honor working with you.”

“Prof— _*Ahem*_.. R-right. Yes.. Your mistake.. You're forgiven. This once.” Videl straightened out of her very professional ranting pose. “But anyway, if you’re going to continue your hobby, I wouldn’t be opposed to having you work under— _With_ me.”

“Oh man, really?” He beamed at her.

“Sure.”

“Our talents combined will certainly be the match for any—”

“Energy powers are still bullshit though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To level with you, I think Videl and Gohan are adorable, but in canon the whole thing is kinda quickly swept under the rug.  
> Videl never could or would become her own character past her arc, because whatever she does, multiple people can do infinitely better.
> 
> Thus, I think a Superhero AU is a much better fit for this romance.  
> One where Videl is on more equal ground and shown to have her own jurisdiction.
> 
> Batman!Videl x Superman!Gohan is one I'm quite fond of, if not written yet.
> 
> Also, I was reading a _lot_ of Miraculous Ladybug, so that may have slipped in setting-wise, if not character-wise.


	5. Cannot Spit it Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Royalty is born with elegant panache and elocution and Vegeta is a prime example of this.

“Look, Vegeta you’ve been staring at me all day, so either get what you want or get out of my way!”

“...” Vegeta muttered at her, fists clenching a bit at his sides. He forced them to relax.

“Hmm~? You wanted to say something?” Bulma spun fully around in her chair to face him. “Care to share with the rest of class?”

“I— We— Should—” Stops and starts like an old car, Vegeta sputtered with something at the tip of his tongue, getting progressively more frustrated with each unsaid sentence. “So I’ve— I mean— Have you ever thought—”

Bulma thought this was suddenly the best thing to happen all day, watching _Himself_ clearly having trouble with something. Probably the very thought of asking for help. She can’t help herself to a bit of prodding, seeing him completely out of his element is too adorable.

“What is it Lassie? Did Timmy fall down the well? Do we need Goku over here to protect us all?”

As she spoke, Vegeta got redder and redder as he tried to slip a word in edgewise between hers, until the last sentence where he finally shouted over her.

“WOMAN!! I’D GIVE MY LIFE TO PROTECT YOU AND OUR CHILD, WE HAVE NO NEED FOR THE MORON HERE!! YOU! INFURIATING! HARPY!!”

He spun around and slammed his way out, suddenly needing to something to pummel out his emotions.

“... Protect me and our child?”

Oh.

Oh my.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the end of the Cell Saga obviously.


	6. Floating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm relaxing comfort

_She was floating rising falling in the gentle swell of the ocean waves.  
A vast plane of water spread across all directions, but somehow she felt warm safe secure._

_Though the sun was starting to hit her eyes harshly_  
_She felt swamped somehow, covered invisibly._  
_She just had to open her eyes._

Chichi opened her eyes. Muzzily she registered it was morning, as evidenced by the birds’ greetings. It’s difficult to move from the luxurious warmth of her bed. Especially as it rocked her so gently. With arms wrapped around her waist.

Chichi pushed herself up somewhat to stare down at her resting spot. Her husband murmured quietly underneath her as she shifted, something about holding her close. She’s still somewhat surprised at how comfortable a densely muscled chest like his can be, taut firm with just enough softness left. She’s not sure if she’d want to sleep like this if he bulked up anymore (Future Chichi would like to state it’s quite lovely thank you very much).

Sun's rising, it _is_ time to start the day.  
A house doesn’t run itself.  
They both need to to get up.

Looking at Goku, Chichi hummed slightly. His face is so _innocent_ in sleep... Her face shifted into leer as she slid her hand lower underneath the covers.

She suddenly knew the best way to wake him up~…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cuddling is cute m'kay


	7. You’re Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so your boat broke but that's fine! This is fine.  
> There's an island, you have _water_ and— **omfg** that the Demon King?
> 
> You've been looking for this loser!

Umi’s eyes instantly went to the bundle of raggedy person sitting by the outcropping. He didn’t look like much from here, but she could tell, just like the stories Grandmama told her. _This must be him. Alright, deep breathes. Just say it like you practiced, then you grab him by the ear, and drag him to where he’s needed. Everything will be fine._

She marched straight to the pile of man, set herself in front of him in a wide stance, and said in her clearest voice, “Demon King Piccolo, Immortal, Ruler of Land Below; I am Umi of Southern North Village and—”

“Conqueror of the Earth.”

“W-what?” She had practiced the line so much, hearing it interrupted in a gravelly rumble, threw her for a loop. Refocusing, she looked down. A deep brow line and hard eyes met hers. Umi cleared her throat, “What did you say?”

“Demon King Piccolo.” He unfolded his arms. “Immortal.” Uncrossed his legs. “Ruler of Land Below.” And He stood up. And up. And Up. “Conqueror of the Earth.” The rags he wore fluttered in the ocean air, flickers of pink and green demonic flesh showing through.

_Like I’m seeing straight to the muscle tissue…_ Umi mentally shook herself. _Doesn’t matter how tall he is._ She leaned her head back, looking him in the eye; her neck twinged, still bruised from the crash. Her home was in peril and this demon was the cause!

“ _I_ am Umi of Southern North Village,” Umi jabbed him in the chest with her oar, ”and _you_ are coming with me to fix the Dragonballs that _You_ destroyed!” Letting it all out in a rush, she glared up attempting to pull him with her through pure force of will.

“Dragonballs?” Piccolo met her gaze unflinchingly and stopped the offending oar in a steely grip. A small part of Umi’s mind started to send danger messages from being so close to a looming demon. His voice ground out, “I believe what you meant to say is Thank You.”

“Thank you?!”

A small smirk twitched onto the Demon King’s lips, “You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Insert Grumpiest musical number here]


	8. Out of the Frypan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Master Roshi... _*ahem*_ saved Mt. Frypan, Goku and Chichi have a moment together.

“You know Goku, you freed my father from this place.”

“Freed? I didn't see any chains or walls holding him in.”

“No, but he wouldn't allow us to leave while his home was still there. I don't even remember living in the mountain palace.”

“Oh.” Goku didn’t quite understand how you can be attached to a place. His grandpa’s hut was far in the distance now, but there wasn’t anything left there. Or maybe _that’s_ why the Ox King wouldn’t leave, there was something important left there like his little orange grandpa. Goku nodded, starting to get it.

“But you freed my father and that makes you a hero. And do you what the rule is for heroes?”

Goku has so far been unimpressed with all of society’s rules. “There’s a rule?”

Chichi blushed. “You, um, get something from the king’s daughter.”

Getting things is always nice, it could be food! “What is it?”

“Well, um”, she fidgeted then quickly stepped over, put her hand on his cheek, and his lips to hers.

Her face was so very close, but the warmth of her hand and softness of her lips was distracting. Goku had never been this close to another person’s face; to his sensitive nose, her scent was everywhere, blocking out the choking dust of the fallen mountain. It combined with the surprising sensation of her lips and a warmth in the pit of his stomach to go beyond distracting, and created a simply overwhelming experience.

After only a second, Chichi stepped back, her face bright red. “Heroes get a kiss from the princess, it’s the rule~” She giggled self-consciously at Goku’s expression. “So, um, bye!” She scampered off.

As reality reasserts itself, Goku’s brain is going through some restructuring. The hamster wheel changing gears.

The amorphous blob of thought termed `[desires]` or `[life goals]` generally consisted of two main concepts: `[combat]` and `[food]`. Now however, a third tinier concept is burgeoning, one tentatively called `[Chichi]`.

As his life continues, this concept waxes and wanes, but never does it disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goku.exe is not responding, reboot and try again.


	9. Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While training to fight the incoming Saiyans, Piccolo meets someone whose a real Gem.  
>   
> (Suddenly a Steven Universe gem OC in DBZ using an experimental writing style?  
> How did you guess?!)

You can tell a lot about a person by their hands. Someone once told me, “The eyes are windows to the soul, but the hands are like, the car parked in the driveway or some shit, you know?” Well, honestly, there was more slurring than that, but he did expand on what he meant at length. For the rest of the evening. And Kami wonders why I ignore his telepathic messages...

What he had meant, though, was that a person’s hands can show you what lives they lead and where their time is spent. Much like a car can, apparently? Nobody I know actually has one. Tangents aside, it seems to be a useful tip so far, a quick glance can assist in determining a basic family of martial arts ( _calloused grip of a weapon user or maybe residual expansion of ki channels_ ) or a person’s profession ( _motor oil stains under the nail or a cook’s multiple small burns_ ).

_This_ hand in front of me is untouched, without even the creases palm-readers view.  
Also it is glowing red.  
No.  
Not glowing, _made_ of red light. And what I think this means is, you’re not from around here.

The red lady pouted, “Well, I’m sure _you_ win awards for politeness.” She put her hand down, apparently realizing that I don’t do handshakes. “But you’re not wrong there, this isn't my home planet.”

Joy. More of them. Please tell me that you are not from _another_ race of blood-thirsty conquerors.

“Well, I wouldn't call us _bloodthirsty_. We just, you know, _sometimes_ need new planets to reproduce on and _occasionally_ someone else already lives there.” So you co-exist with the natives? “Yep! Up until the core is hollowed out at least. Oh, but don’t worry! They haven’t found this planet yet and all it's delicious minerals!”

That’s very comforting Red, but I have a “student” to train for the _other_ alien invasion. Very busy.

“Please, call me Rubellite. Red is… ah, someone else.”

I give my name in return.

“Ah, so you’re Piccolo! Goku mentioned you, I think.” You knew the moron, then. “It's been years, so I’m actually going to visit him now.”

My expression doesn’t change an inch.

“I hear he has a **kid** even! They are _so **smol**_ , have you met it?”

Kid? I have never seen a child in my life.

A dinosaur’s roar echo off the plateau around us and a faint scream of a young boy follows.

Oh wow, look at the time! Looks like you need to go, because you will be late. You wouldn’t want to miss Goku. Who is, last I heard, super alive. And I got so much training here. By myself. I am doing now. By myself.

After flawlessly convincing her, she takes the bait and flies off so as to not miss lunch. Which is good, because I need to see if the kid needs to be pulled out of another dinosaur stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this after reading a lot of Haruhi Suzumiya novels and I really wanted to try it's odd 1st person style.  
> Dunno if I really captured it, but it was fun!
> 
> My girlfriend and I have an AU where a Gem Empire exists in DBZ.  
>  _They_ are the ones Frieza sells planets to, in exchange for their imperfect Gems.  
>  This keeps the Cold War with the two empires from devolving into Kaiju-sized fusions vs the Nappas & Vegetas. (heh heh _Cold_ War with Frieza)  
>  This means that fusions are not as big a deal for this Gem empire, so that they don't have a Civil War and so that they can survive the Frieza Force.  
> There's more, but I won't run on too long :P
> 
> On a side note: who, in canon, is Frieza selling his planets to and why isn't he just killing them & stealing their money?  
> hmm...


	10. Gratitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bulma can stand many things, but Vegeta doesn't appreciate having a place to live after Namak at all, the idiot!

Bulma had thought Vegeta was annoying while he thought he _deserved_ to be sheltered by her family. Apparently, he had it in his head that it was her _duty_ to take in a Saiyan Prince and she should be grateful for the opportunity.

She had felt bad for the guy, honestly, enslavement by his own people's killer until Vegeta was executed himself. **But!** A sense of sympathy for the cute and recently resurrected only goes so far. Even a perfect lady like herself couldn’t deal with his fucking Royal Bullshit for more than a week without telling him _Exactly_ where his ass stood.

A homicidal homeless man whose every bath, meal, and night _not_ spent under a fucking bridge with the corpses of all the innocents he’s recently killed used as a bed, was purely thanks to the Briefs family’s pity. You _did_ bleed for us and die for us, and we want to give something back. A place to rest and the chance to get stronger. However, it appeared that Saiyan Pride had never heard of giving back before, to not give even the slightest thanks.

The full explanation went on rather longer and more verbose, but Vegeta got the idea after the first twenty minutes. Bulma felt much calmer afterward, soothed from releasing the bottled indignity.

Vegeta was quieter after that, but he appeared nearby more often, at the edge of her vision. Looking oddly… pensive. While a quiet Vegeta is cute in its own way, this honestly got old within the day. An emo prince is much worse than a selfish one.

She caught him at one of his lurking corners and whirled on him, “Look, I don’t know _which_ injury finally made its way into concussing your brain, but if you don’t stop moping I swear, on my frankly amazing figure, that I will _find_ a scalpel and start cutting away until you stop **fucking Hiding!** ”

Vegeta, for his part, looked baffled then righteously angry, “Woman! You tell me I, the Prince of Saiyans, owe you, but you don’t approve of research into the subject!”

Bulma blinked, “Research?”

“To find what you could possibly need, in repayment, remember?!”

“Repa--? Look, you don’t need to--”

“So you think I **can’t** give you anything worthy?!”

“No, I just--”

“Vegeta, **The Saiyan Prince** , has nothing of merit to give!”

“I never said that!”

Vegeta visibly deflated, “I just… What do I have left worth taking anymore?”

Bulma watched, reminded that he wasn’t _really_ a screaming caricature, but a man like any other. “Well… I can think of one thing…” The words left her mouth before checking with her brain.

Vegeta looked up slightly, meeting her gaze again. A clear question within. Lips pursed ready to ask.

To both cut off questions and her own second thoughts, she leaned down and gave a gentle, quick kiss. Surprisingly soft lips met hers, for a second, then she straightened to view the damage of rash action. His lips were still parted and his eyes were widening. She met his eyes, and smiled warmly, “I think that’ll be payment enough.”

She started back toward her room, leaving him standing in place attempting to analyse sudden events. Over her shoulder, she saw his glazed look and added, “For _starters_ , at least.” Only a twitch told her he heard.

Bulma hoped she didn’t break anything; he looked to be worth something, once properly house-trained of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulma is so fun to write.  
> Especially when she's mean.
> 
> Lol and just so we clear, house-training here means not being homicidal space pirate.  
> ...  
> ......  
> House- _breaking_ is when the kinky stuff happens.


End file.
